Ok, so I truly suck at this whole blogging thing. I sort of forgot this even existed and thought that I had deleted it (like I do with most things) but then checked out my bloglovin' profile and was like wow look at that! Anyway, I think the last time I wrote here was like way back in the beginning of summer? But then...well....life happened.
This summer I got a job working for a department store. I was so desperate to find a job as quick as possible so my dad could stop telling me every 5 seconds about how I need to get a job and giving me lists of possible jobs, so before I knew it I was training for a job that would require me to be in work by 6am. 6AM!!! I have never, ever been a morning person and usually I like spending my summers slipping into a horrendous schedule where I make entire meals at 2am and fall asleep somewhere around 4am. I am also a night person for other reasons such as my boyfriend. We are long distance and he lives in a different time zone so we primarily can only talk late at night. So now here I was with this job that required me to be at work at 6am. I could not believe it and I HATED it.
Since I was the newbie and also had a completely free schedule, I got put on all the terrible shifts. I worked 6am - noon most days and I had to work the "doorbuster" shifts every Friday and Saturday (except for that one special Saturday I finally had off). I also got a few 8 hour Sunday shifts. Suddenly my summer, which I had imagined would involve me spending lots of time with friends, reading and taking my dogs for walks, flew past before my eyes. I usually crawled home everyday after my shift and would sleep away the day because I hadn't gotten proper sleep before my 6am shift.
Before I knew it, I was quitting my job and getting ready to head back to school. Terrible summer! However, it's been a few months now and I am able to reflect back on my job and I realize that it really was not that terrible. I had a really fantastic little group of coworkers who also did my particular job and they were all so sweet and I really bonded with one of the girls, who was around my age (I think she also just appreciated having someone her age to finally work with!). I was also able to work independently a lot and I didn't have to interact with customers much unless they asked me a question. I also ended on a really fantastic note with my boss who said I was welcome to come back anytime and I'm actually considering working there again next summer!
I've somehow managed to just write a huge blog post about my summer job, oops! So, yeah, like I said, summer flew past with barely any free time and then I started my first semester of my junior year at college and now that's almost over as well. It seems that as I get older, the years just go by so quickly and it's so stressful!
I've got 3 more finals and 3 more papers to write and 1 1/2 weeks of school left and this semester will be done! I really do want to try to get into this blogging thing more but it also involves quite a lot of dedication and work that I'm not going to promise I can commit to. But for now, I'm off to relax for the day since I've had a very stressful week and then I must pick back up with studying and paper writing tomorrow (and also squeeze in some Christmas shopping). Au revoir!
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Spend Some Time With Yourself
It seems that the first year of college is either nothing like you expected or better than you expected. I've heard people say that they hated it because they either made no friends or they made lots of fake friends and partied too much and failed classes or people say that they made their lifelong friends and love college. I wish I could say that my first year was amazing, but it wasn't. Luckily, it's far enough in the past now that I can reflect on it honestly.
It was really good for the first month and a half. My roommate and I were quickly becoming great friends. I was constantly telling my parents that I think she would be a lifelong friend. I never had a friend who shared so many of my interests before and it felt so refreshing. We were constantly exploring the city and laughing until our sides hurt back in our room. It was a really exciting time and I felt like college was exactly what I had been hoping for. However, she started becoming friends with new people and instead of budgeting her time between me and her new friends or even introducing me to them, she was completely leaving me in the dust. Our friendship deteriorated quicker than it took to form it and before I knew it she was moving out. Unlike her, I hadn't been making any friends in my classes and I also didn't have any friends from my hometown at the time either, so I felt entirely alone. I hated my roommate for leaving me, I hated my floor because they were constantly loud and drunk or high and I hated the school.
I began spiraling into a really dark place. I was crying all the time and feeling more lonely than I'd ever felt in my whole life. I struggled through my second semester even though I was taking barely enough credits to even be considered full time. I couldn't find the energy to do my work or to make friends. I was becoming careless about my health and doing things that I regret. I came out of my freshman year feeling defeated. College had been absolutely nothing like I had hoped.
Although my freshman year was terrible, it taught me a lot about myself. During the semesters, I began going out a lot to try and escape the loneliness for as long as possible. I started going to museums and coffee shops. I'd spend warm Saturdays in Central Park reading or I'd go shopping on a Friday. At first, I did it to escape, but as time progressed I realized that spending time with myself wasn't so bad after all. In fact, going to museums or parks by yourself can be just as much as fun as if you were with someone. I may have been fighting off loneliness, but I was also realizing that I didn't need friends to make me happy. I think a lot of people lean on friends for their happiness and they tend to hang on to toxic friendships because they're scared of being alone. It's perfectly valid to feel that way, but it's also so detrimental. I've held on to my fair share of toxic friends throughout the years and it never ended up well. When I had no one else to rely on, I realized how important it is to rely on yourself first and rely on your friends second.
Since my freshman year, I've become friends with some girls from my hometown again and I'm becoming really close with one of them again. It's great to have people to hang out with again, but I'm happy knowing that I can be alone and still be okay. I no longer have a fear of being looked at as "weird" because I might be doing something alone on a Saturday. I know that if I lose all my friends again, I can survive by myself, and it's comforting. Friendships are important and can be great, but they can also be toxic and detrimental. Being alone sometimes isn't so bad and I think we need to learn to rely on ourselves above all else and stop seeing being alone as something bad.
It was really good for the first month and a half. My roommate and I were quickly becoming great friends. I was constantly telling my parents that I think she would be a lifelong friend. I never had a friend who shared so many of my interests before and it felt so refreshing. We were constantly exploring the city and laughing until our sides hurt back in our room. It was a really exciting time and I felt like college was exactly what I had been hoping for. However, she started becoming friends with new people and instead of budgeting her time between me and her new friends or even introducing me to them, she was completely leaving me in the dust. Our friendship deteriorated quicker than it took to form it and before I knew it she was moving out. Unlike her, I hadn't been making any friends in my classes and I also didn't have any friends from my hometown at the time either, so I felt entirely alone. I hated my roommate for leaving me, I hated my floor because they were constantly loud and drunk or high and I hated the school.
I began spiraling into a really dark place. I was crying all the time and feeling more lonely than I'd ever felt in my whole life. I struggled through my second semester even though I was taking barely enough credits to even be considered full time. I couldn't find the energy to do my work or to make friends. I was becoming careless about my health and doing things that I regret. I came out of my freshman year feeling defeated. College had been absolutely nothing like I had hoped.
Although my freshman year was terrible, it taught me a lot about myself. During the semesters, I began going out a lot to try and escape the loneliness for as long as possible. I started going to museums and coffee shops. I'd spend warm Saturdays in Central Park reading or I'd go shopping on a Friday. At first, I did it to escape, but as time progressed I realized that spending time with myself wasn't so bad after all. In fact, going to museums or parks by yourself can be just as much as fun as if you were with someone. I may have been fighting off loneliness, but I was also realizing that I didn't need friends to make me happy. I think a lot of people lean on friends for their happiness and they tend to hang on to toxic friendships because they're scared of being alone. It's perfectly valid to feel that way, but it's also so detrimental. I've held on to my fair share of toxic friends throughout the years and it never ended up well. When I had no one else to rely on, I realized how important it is to rely on yourself first and rely on your friends second.
Since my freshman year, I've become friends with some girls from my hometown again and I'm becoming really close with one of them again. It's great to have people to hang out with again, but I'm happy knowing that I can be alone and still be okay. I no longer have a fear of being looked at as "weird" because I might be doing something alone on a Saturday. I know that if I lose all my friends again, I can survive by myself, and it's comforting. Friendships are important and can be great, but they can also be toxic and detrimental. Being alone sometimes isn't so bad and I think we need to learn to rely on ourselves above all else and stop seeing being alone as something bad.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Eastern State
I made it through finals! I haven't gotten all my grades back yet but so far I've gotten two A's. I have also moved back home. It has been a busy past few days moving back and getting settled in and I am taking a few days off to rest my brain before I try finding a job for the summer.
I woke up to a nice cool breeze blowing my curtains open and the sun was high in the sky. My parents and I decided we wanted to go eat outside on this beautiful day so we went over to Philly and ate at this adorable restaurant facing the Eastern State Penitentiary (they gave us complementary cookies at the end. Complementary. Cookies.). I've been wanting to visit the Eastern State Penitentiary again for quite some time because it's been years since I've last been there so my parents and I decided to head over after lunch.
For those of you who may not know, Eastern State is an old prison. It's been used in movies and music videos. Ghost Hunters also went there and supposedly saw a ghost. Al Capone was also locked up in here briefly. Pretty much: it's got a lot of history (and ghosts, if you believe in them).
I tried to take as many pictures as possible but my camera is pretty terrible and most of them turned out blurry. Here is a few of the ones that didn't seem too bad.
If you're ever in Philly, there's plenty of things you should check out (I mean, duh, the city is filled with history). But if you've already done the typical liberty bell/betsy ross house/etc. sort of things, you should definitely stop by Eastern State. They have really done a great job with restoring it throughout the years. I was impressed by how much more of it is open to the public now and it's very well maintained. It's also eery and historic, aka the best combination of things to be!
I woke up to a nice cool breeze blowing my curtains open and the sun was high in the sky. My parents and I decided we wanted to go eat outside on this beautiful day so we went over to Philly and ate at this adorable restaurant facing the Eastern State Penitentiary (they gave us complementary cookies at the end. Complementary. Cookies.). I've been wanting to visit the Eastern State Penitentiary again for quite some time because it's been years since I've last been there so my parents and I decided to head over after lunch.
For those of you who may not know, Eastern State is an old prison. It's been used in movies and music videos. Ghost Hunters also went there and supposedly saw a ghost. Al Capone was also locked up in here briefly. Pretty much: it's got a lot of history (and ghosts, if you believe in them).
I tried to take as many pictures as possible but my camera is pretty terrible and most of them turned out blurry. Here is a few of the ones that didn't seem too bad.
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| I kept asking my mom to take my picture because I really liked my outfit today and wanted to look chic against the crumbling building. She started to get annoyed with me! |
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| I don't know why they chose to put this chair in the empty cell but I liked how it looked! |
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
January 3rd, 2014
I realized today that I have a severe lack of photos on my blog and none of the photos I have posted have been my own. I've been doing nothing but study for the past 2 weeks and I haven't taken any proper pictures in months so I'm going to share a few photos from a really lovely day a few months ago: January 3rd, 2014.
I can't say I really remember the entirety of the day but what stands out most to me is that after going out to dinner with my parents that night we were driving through this park in the next town over and it was drowned in untouched snow. I suddenly exclaimed that I wanted to run through it so my dad stopped and told me to do it then. Despite not being dressed for winter weather let alone running through the snow, I did it anyway. It was only January and this was one of our first big snow storms so I still really loved the snow at that point (about 10,000 snow storms later, I had grown a fond hate of snow). My mom got out of the car and joined me. I tried to snap pictures of the field but my camera has a horrendous flash that makes these weird light streaks and ruins most photos. My mom and I laughed and took weird light streaked photos of ourselves until our fingers almost froze off and then we ran back to the warm car that my dad was still waiting in. It was childlike and fun.
Alright, time to get back to studying. Only two more finals to go! I've been listening nonstop to "Music" and "Hung Up" by Madonna. They're not at all good songs, but ridiculously danceable and catchy and they're helping me conquer finals!
I can't say I really remember the entirety of the day but what stands out most to me is that after going out to dinner with my parents that night we were driving through this park in the next town over and it was drowned in untouched snow. I suddenly exclaimed that I wanted to run through it so my dad stopped and told me to do it then. Despite not being dressed for winter weather let alone running through the snow, I did it anyway. It was only January and this was one of our first big snow storms so I still really loved the snow at that point (about 10,000 snow storms later, I had grown a fond hate of snow). My mom got out of the car and joined me. I tried to snap pictures of the field but my camera has a horrendous flash that makes these weird light streaks and ruins most photos. My mom and I laughed and took weird light streaked photos of ourselves until our fingers almost froze off and then we ran back to the warm car that my dad was still waiting in. It was childlike and fun.
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| Here was a tree in the park and some of those odd flash streaks my camera creates |
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| Sometimes I don't realize how "New York" I am until I see pictures of myself standing in the middle of a snow covered field wearing a dress and a faux fur coat (all black too, of course!) |
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| This is my neighbor's house. They get these huge, dangerous icicles on the side of their house that, luckily, no one has been injured by yet. |
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| My back porch covered in snow. |
Friday, May 9, 2014
Roommates
The last few days of school are upon me and I'm feeling weirdly sad about it all. Mostly, I am sad about moving out, which I never thought I would be saying.
My freshman year dorm experience was absolute hell. The first semester went to complete shit when my best and only friend, who was also my roommate, decided she did not want to be my friend any longer. She moved out and I had the room to myself. It was great....except for the fact that my floor was still horrible and my ex-friend made frequent drunk appearances on it. I never felt safe or comfortable or relaxed. The next semester I got a new roommate. A bubbly, outgoing performing arts major. She was super sweet and struggled to make friends at first and she ended up confiding in me quite often. We shared a few tender moments (one of these moments being me comforting her when she got the unexpected news that her grandmother had passed). However, she was my complete opposite. Friendly, outgoing, likes musicals, avid church goer, and the thing I hated most -- MESSY. As nice as she was, I found myself growing angrier at her each day. Between my still rambunctious, noisy floor, the absolute filth that was the floor's shared bathroom and my new messy roommate, I was going insane.
Needless to say, I left my freshman year behind without one bit of sadness. I still think about those dorms and cringe. My sophomore year has been completely different, in the best possible way. Both of my roommates (aside from a few bad moments) have been beyond wonderful. They are sweet and nice but not overbearing. They were both relatively clean. They kept to themselves but we still had nice conversations here and there. We even watched the last season of Breaking Bad together. They have been so wonderful that I'm actually sad to be moving out.
I'm also sad I didn't make more of an effort to be not just their roommate, but also their friend. Particularly with my one roommate. Unlike my previous roommate, this roommate seemed almost too similar to me. We liked some of the same music, movies and tv shows and we are both shy and the "stay in" types. These two semesters I have been tempted countless times to invite her to go get coffee or go to a museum with me or even just engage her in a real conversation, one that lasts more than a few minutes. Sadly, I've let my fear of breaking out of my comfort zone hold me back once again. I'm sitting here now wondering why I don't just go up to her and tell her I think we should be friends, since she's leaving tomorrow, but I know I won't. All I can do is hope I have a class with her so that maybe we can become friends. This sounds so cheesy typing it out, it sounds like I'm trying to snag a boyfriend or something!
Anyway, I guess I'm really grateful for these roommates. I would have completely lost hope in this school and dorms if I'd had another bad roommate experience, but they've been absolutely wonderful. I'm going to be moving out in a few days with a slight feeling of sadness and all I can hope is that my junior years turns out just as well as this one.
My freshman year dorm experience was absolute hell. The first semester went to complete shit when my best and only friend, who was also my roommate, decided she did not want to be my friend any longer. She moved out and I had the room to myself. It was great....except for the fact that my floor was still horrible and my ex-friend made frequent drunk appearances on it. I never felt safe or comfortable or relaxed. The next semester I got a new roommate. A bubbly, outgoing performing arts major. She was super sweet and struggled to make friends at first and she ended up confiding in me quite often. We shared a few tender moments (one of these moments being me comforting her when she got the unexpected news that her grandmother had passed). However, she was my complete opposite. Friendly, outgoing, likes musicals, avid church goer, and the thing I hated most -- MESSY. As nice as she was, I found myself growing angrier at her each day. Between my still rambunctious, noisy floor, the absolute filth that was the floor's shared bathroom and my new messy roommate, I was going insane.
Needless to say, I left my freshman year behind without one bit of sadness. I still think about those dorms and cringe. My sophomore year has been completely different, in the best possible way. Both of my roommates (aside from a few bad moments) have been beyond wonderful. They are sweet and nice but not overbearing. They were both relatively clean. They kept to themselves but we still had nice conversations here and there. We even watched the last season of Breaking Bad together. They have been so wonderful that I'm actually sad to be moving out.
I'm also sad I didn't make more of an effort to be not just their roommate, but also their friend. Particularly with my one roommate. Unlike my previous roommate, this roommate seemed almost too similar to me. We liked some of the same music, movies and tv shows and we are both shy and the "stay in" types. These two semesters I have been tempted countless times to invite her to go get coffee or go to a museum with me or even just engage her in a real conversation, one that lasts more than a few minutes. Sadly, I've let my fear of breaking out of my comfort zone hold me back once again. I'm sitting here now wondering why I don't just go up to her and tell her I think we should be friends, since she's leaving tomorrow, but I know I won't. All I can do is hope I have a class with her so that maybe we can become friends. This sounds so cheesy typing it out, it sounds like I'm trying to snag a boyfriend or something!
Anyway, I guess I'm really grateful for these roommates. I would have completely lost hope in this school and dorms if I'd had another bad roommate experience, but they've been absolutely wonderful. I'm going to be moving out in a few days with a slight feeling of sadness and all I can hope is that my junior years turns out just as well as this one.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Dance Fever
I was thinking today about all the stereotypical high school things that you always see in movies or tv shows. You know, things like "go to prom" "go to a high school party" "have a boyfriend." I did pretty much none of this in high school and because of that, I have a lot of regrets. However, I did go to my senior prom...and it was awful.
You see, I had not gone to my junior prom because no one had asked me but both of my friends had gone so I was left alone that night feeling lame and lonely. I vowed to go to my senior prom, even if it meant going alone. I couldn't let this momentous, high school moment pass me by. As prom season started to roll around, I started to panic realizing I still did not have a date. Luckily, a friend of mine (who I was actually not even close with at the time due to something petty) hooked me up with her boyfriend's friend. I knew who the guy was because my high school was very small (I'm talking like 400 kids total) but I'd never spoken to him.
When our senior trip to Disney World rolled around, my friend told me that the boy was planning to ask me sometime during the trip. I suddenly got so nervous. I dreaded the moment that he was going to ask me to prom. He wasn't even an intimidating boy; he was tall and lanky with bright red hair and an affinity for classic rock. We both knew we were going to go to prom together, all he had to do was ask. And yet, there I was, avoiding the moment at all costs. Every night my friend would tell me how he had planned to ask me that day in some extravagant way, with cupcakes or candy, but continuously lost his nerve. As our trip grew closer to the end, I knew the moment was coming soon and I began trying even harder to avoid him. When the night came around that my friend told me he wanted to ask me, I began running and hiding throughout the sports themed hotel. It was funny and also incredibly embarrassing and immature. Gosh, I feel bad even thinking back on it. Finally my two close friends got me to sit down on some lawn chairs and he finally approached me. His hands shook as he mustered up the courage to tell me he thought I was pretty and if we wanted to go to prom together. Here I was avoiding this boy because of my own nerves when he was probably far more nervous than me. I said yes and we exchanged numbers and then he walked away. Suddenly everyone started finding out that he had asked me and they all wanted to know the details and every time someone would come up and ask about it I would sink into my chair and go bright red because I didn't have some great story to tell, I had an incredibly awkward and embarrassing one. But I had to admit, I was beyond happy that this nice boy was taking me to prom and I cherished each moment of attention that I received that night.
I wish I could sit here and say that prom turned out to be a magical moment. That me and this boy had a great time dancing and getting to know each other and that maybe it ended in some magical kiss, but none of that happened. My table consisted of me and my date, my friend who I was still on rocky terms with at the time and her boyfriend and this girl that no one liked and her date that no one knew. My best friend was too wrapped up in her date, some boy that she had been secretly going home with after school for months and had not told me about, but that's a whole other story. I spent half the night running over to her table asking her to save me from the awkwardness that was my own only to find that she was too busy staring at her date like he was a god. However, my date was great. He spent the whole night trying to get me to get up and dance by embarrassingly dancing in front of me. I'd blush and tell him I didn't want to. In fact, he was the best date anyone could have asked for and I was the absolute worst. I sat there the whole night feeling like a clown in my huge dress, refusing to dance. Eventually he got me up to slow dance which was...well...still not magical at all. He drove me home that night and confided in me that he was worried I had not had a good time or that it was his fault and I was overwhelmed with guilt. I had been the worst date ever.
So in the end, prom was not magical at all. It was absolutely nothing like I expected. I didn't spend the night dancing with my date and my friends and laughing and taking pictures. But I do consider myself lucky for having the best date ever and I wish I could go tell him how much he meant to me that night. I couldn't have asked for a nicer boy. I wish I had been more of the person I am now back then. In the last few years I've learned to care less about what other people think and I like to think I'm less uptight and reserved. If I could go back, I would have talked to that friend who I was not really talking to at the time and we would have danced together and I would have danced like a fool with my date. Honestly, I think if I had been more friendly with him, we would have turned into something more than just a prom date. I missed out on a lot of opportunities in high school, I really did.
I guess this post is a little depressing. Yes, I do regret a lot about what I did (or didn't) do in high school, but I also have some amazing memories from it as well. After all, high school is such a small part of my life and if anything, reflecting on it has made me realize that I need to stop being scared to really live my life. I am 20 years old and I don't want to keep seeing my life flashing before my eyes. Time to start living xx
You see, I had not gone to my junior prom because no one had asked me but both of my friends had gone so I was left alone that night feeling lame and lonely. I vowed to go to my senior prom, even if it meant going alone. I couldn't let this momentous, high school moment pass me by. As prom season started to roll around, I started to panic realizing I still did not have a date. Luckily, a friend of mine (who I was actually not even close with at the time due to something petty) hooked me up with her boyfriend's friend. I knew who the guy was because my high school was very small (I'm talking like 400 kids total) but I'd never spoken to him.
When our senior trip to Disney World rolled around, my friend told me that the boy was planning to ask me sometime during the trip. I suddenly got so nervous. I dreaded the moment that he was going to ask me to prom. He wasn't even an intimidating boy; he was tall and lanky with bright red hair and an affinity for classic rock. We both knew we were going to go to prom together, all he had to do was ask. And yet, there I was, avoiding the moment at all costs. Every night my friend would tell me how he had planned to ask me that day in some extravagant way, with cupcakes or candy, but continuously lost his nerve. As our trip grew closer to the end, I knew the moment was coming soon and I began trying even harder to avoid him. When the night came around that my friend told me he wanted to ask me, I began running and hiding throughout the sports themed hotel. It was funny and also incredibly embarrassing and immature. Gosh, I feel bad even thinking back on it. Finally my two close friends got me to sit down on some lawn chairs and he finally approached me. His hands shook as he mustered up the courage to tell me he thought I was pretty and if we wanted to go to prom together. Here I was avoiding this boy because of my own nerves when he was probably far more nervous than me. I said yes and we exchanged numbers and then he walked away. Suddenly everyone started finding out that he had asked me and they all wanted to know the details and every time someone would come up and ask about it I would sink into my chair and go bright red because I didn't have some great story to tell, I had an incredibly awkward and embarrassing one. But I had to admit, I was beyond happy that this nice boy was taking me to prom and I cherished each moment of attention that I received that night.
I wish I could sit here and say that prom turned out to be a magical moment. That me and this boy had a great time dancing and getting to know each other and that maybe it ended in some magical kiss, but none of that happened. My table consisted of me and my date, my friend who I was still on rocky terms with at the time and her boyfriend and this girl that no one liked and her date that no one knew. My best friend was too wrapped up in her date, some boy that she had been secretly going home with after school for months and had not told me about, but that's a whole other story. I spent half the night running over to her table asking her to save me from the awkwardness that was my own only to find that she was too busy staring at her date like he was a god. However, my date was great. He spent the whole night trying to get me to get up and dance by embarrassingly dancing in front of me. I'd blush and tell him I didn't want to. In fact, he was the best date anyone could have asked for and I was the absolute worst. I sat there the whole night feeling like a clown in my huge dress, refusing to dance. Eventually he got me up to slow dance which was...well...still not magical at all. He drove me home that night and confided in me that he was worried I had not had a good time or that it was his fault and I was overwhelmed with guilt. I had been the worst date ever.
So in the end, prom was not magical at all. It was absolutely nothing like I expected. I didn't spend the night dancing with my date and my friends and laughing and taking pictures. But I do consider myself lucky for having the best date ever and I wish I could go tell him how much he meant to me that night. I couldn't have asked for a nicer boy. I wish I had been more of the person I am now back then. In the last few years I've learned to care less about what other people think and I like to think I'm less uptight and reserved. If I could go back, I would have talked to that friend who I was not really talking to at the time and we would have danced together and I would have danced like a fool with my date. Honestly, I think if I had been more friendly with him, we would have turned into something more than just a prom date. I missed out on a lot of opportunities in high school, I really did.
I guess this post is a little depressing. Yes, I do regret a lot about what I did (or didn't) do in high school, but I also have some amazing memories from it as well. After all, high school is such a small part of my life and if anything, reflecting on it has made me realize that I need to stop being scared to really live my life. I am 20 years old and I don't want to keep seeing my life flashing before my eyes. Time to start living xx
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
April Favorites
I follow a decent amount of fashion/beauty oriented girls on youtube and I find that they often do a video at the end of each month saying the things they really loved that month. Since I am not a youtuber (yet), I thought I would incorporate the idea into my new blog instead. Here are some of my favorites from April:
I've been really loving these three songs from Aphex Twin. Yes, only three songs, not an entire album, although they are all from the same album. The first song is Finger Bib. I was scrolling through tumblr one night and it popped up on my feed. I wasn't listening to anything at the moment so I clicked play and I immediately fell in love and listened to it for two days straight. This song makes me feel both sad and happy. The second song is Cornish Acid. I haven't been listening to this song as frequently but I really like the way it sounds. It makes me want to dance, mostly, but also makes me feel a bit nervous. The final song, that I have been obsessed with these past two days is 4. It makes me feel hopeful, like when you come out of a bad place in your life and you are finally feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. Here it is (don't let the creepy face deter you from listening to this beautiful song):
I've been really loving these three songs from Aphex Twin. Yes, only three songs, not an entire album, although they are all from the same album. The first song is Finger Bib. I was scrolling through tumblr one night and it popped up on my feed. I wasn't listening to anything at the moment so I clicked play and I immediately fell in love and listened to it for two days straight. This song makes me feel both sad and happy. The second song is Cornish Acid. I haven't been listening to this song as frequently but I really like the way it sounds. It makes me want to dance, mostly, but also makes me feel a bit nervous. The final song, that I have been obsessed with these past two days is 4. It makes me feel hopeful, like when you come out of a bad place in your life and you are finally feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. Here it is (don't let the creepy face deter you from listening to this beautiful song):
Earlier this month I was on the hunt for some new boots (looking for boots in April, ridiculous, I know). I had been receiving a lot of emails from this website www.urbanog.com and I decided to look there for some new boots. I was thrilled to see so many beautiful shoes and after a few days trying to decide which ones to order, I settled on these:
They are absolutely perfect and I have been wearing them to death. Can I just say how impressed I am with Urbanog? They are always having amazing sales and discounts and they have beautiful shoes that are not ridiculously expensive. And, no, they aren't even paying me or sending me free stuff for this! I was just really impressed with their website and wanted to share!
I have also been obsessed with Cadbury Creme Eggs. Why don't they sell these things any time other than Easter? Admittedly, I went to the store the day after Easter and bought about six Cadbury Creme Eggs on top of the five or so I had already gotten for Easter. Maybe I am a bit more than obsessed...
Finally, this beautiful picture of Dita Von Teese that I found on tumblr.
She is so glamorous. I only wish I could be 1/4 as glamorous as she is. Give me all the (faux) fur in the world please!!
Sorry this was a bit short and lacking photos, I'm new to this!! But hopefully you enjoyed this anyway (not that anyone is reading this yet though haha).
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