Roommates

The last few days of school are upon me and I'm feeling weirdly sad about it all. Mostly, I am sad about moving out, which I never thought I would be saying.

My freshman year dorm experience was absolute hell. The first semester went to complete shit when my best and only friend, who was also my roommate, decided she did not want to be my friend any longer. She moved out and I had the room to myself. It was great....except for the fact that my floor was still horrible and my ex-friend made frequent drunk appearances on it. I never felt safe or comfortable or relaxed. The next semester I got a new roommate. A bubbly, outgoing performing arts major. She was super sweet and struggled to make friends at first and she ended up confiding in me quite often. We shared a few tender moments (one of these moments being me comforting her when she got the unexpected news that her grandmother had passed). However, she was my complete opposite. Friendly, outgoing, likes musicals, avid church goer, and the thing I hated most -- MESSY. As nice as she was, I found myself growing angrier at her each day. Between my still rambunctious, noisy floor, the absolute filth that was the floor's shared bathroom and my new messy roommate, I was going insane.

Needless to say, I left my freshman year behind without one bit of sadness. I still think about those dorms and cringe. My sophomore year has been completely different, in the best possible way. Both of my roommates (aside from a few bad moments) have been beyond wonderful. They are sweet and nice but not overbearing. They were both relatively clean. They kept to themselves but we still had nice conversations here and there. We even watched the last season of Breaking Bad together. They have been so wonderful that I'm actually sad to be moving out.

I'm also sad I didn't make more of an effort to be not just their roommate, but also their friend. Particularly with my one roommate. Unlike my previous roommate, this roommate seemed almost too similar to me. We liked some of the same music, movies and tv shows and we are both shy and the "stay in" types. These two semesters I have been tempted countless times to invite her to go get coffee or go to a museum with me or even just engage her in a real conversation, one that lasts more than a few minutes. Sadly, I've let my fear of breaking out of my comfort zone hold me back once again. I'm sitting here now wondering why I don't just go up to her and tell her I think we should be friends, since she's leaving tomorrow, but I know I won't. All I can do is hope I have a class with her so that maybe we can become friends. This sounds so cheesy typing it out, it sounds like I'm trying to snag a boyfriend or something!

Anyway, I guess I'm really grateful for these roommates. I would have completely lost hope in this school and dorms if I'd had another bad roommate experience, but they've been absolutely wonderful. I'm going to be moving out in a few days with a slight feeling of sadness and all I can hope is that my junior years turns out just as well as this one.